


Shellfish and Swords

by misura



Category: Reaper (TV)
Genre: Community: lands_of_magic, Gen, Heaven, Pre-Canon, Rebellion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 13:36:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5787172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Rebellion?" Tony chuckled. "Come on. That's a bit much, don't you think?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shellfish and Swords

_a long time ago, in a galaxy not at all far away - more like_ right here _in fact_

"Rebellion?" Tony chuckled. "Come on. That's a bit much, don't you think?"

Steve looked pensive. Steve, of course, was the smart one. Soft spot for the mortals, though.

The angel who would be Lucifer grinned and spread his hands. There were no used cars in Heaven - or anywhere else, for that matter, but if there had been, he could have sold you one at twice the price you'd have paid for a new one, and left you feeling like you'd gotten away with a bargain, too.

For a couple of days, at least. Until you realized that it would be several thousand years before anyone would be building a gas station.

"A peaceful demonstration that we're bloody well not going to take it anymore, then," he said. "I mean, come on. Taking away your sword? Was that really called for?"

"Right." Tony's smile was a bit wistful. "That was some sword, huh? Big and fiery and stuff."

"It served its purpose," Steve said, glancing at Tony in a way that suggested 'big and fiery' need not necessarily be adjectives only applicable to inanimate objects. "Taking it away was a reward, not a punishment."

Tony scowled. "Oh, sure. Paperwork and a desk instead of a big, flaming sword. Some _reward_."

Steve regarded him sternly, then turned back to their visitor. "Speaking for both of us, I'm going to have to say: thanks, but no thanks."

"Wow," the angel who was not yet Satan said. "That is _some_ loyalty, you've got there. I mean, when I heard that bit about the shrimp - but no, not you. Unwavering loyalty, no matter what, eh? No problem, I can respect that. No harm done asking, eh?"

There was a brief silence. Had anyone dropped a pin, you might not have heard it, but only because pins, like gas stations, had not yet been invented, which would have made dropping one a disturbance of the space-time continuum, potentially resulting in the end of the world as we would never know it.

"Excuse me, _what_ bit about the shrimp?" Steve asked.

"Forbidden. Completely off the menu. Protected species, and all that." The angel who had been most beloved by God gestured expansively. "All part of the plan, He says, but you got to wonder: what's next? Bread? Butter, maybe? Oh, how about that nice bit of salmon you made the other day - you don't think maybe _that_ should be made taboo as well? After all, a well fed human is a happy human, and a happy human doesn't need a God now, does he? You gotta give the Big Guy credit for smarts."

Steve went a little pale. Tony put a hand on his shoulder.

The first of all the angels smiled. "Tell you what, you show up early, and we'll see about getting you a nice new sword, how's that? Something you can really swing around."


End file.
